PRIVATE SPACE

I love my bad breath. It’s my personal shield against people invading my Private Space, my Five Foot Perimeter.

I don’t stink. I shower frequently and use deodorant and wear clean if well-used clothes. When I enjoy a good meal I’m not about to ruin the taste of it immediately afterwards by scrubbing and rinsing my mouth with several disinfectants. If you can smell my breath you’re much too close; back up a bit there, pal…

If I choose to cleanse my palate and replenish my fluids after a wonderful meal with a cold beer or a glass of wine and you happen to notice it; again you’re standing too near. Lately I’ve taken to using a lot of onions and garlic. It really does keep them a safe distance (remember 5 foot perimeter?) away.

Stand back and keep your germs to yourself; and I’ll keep my breath to myself. Deal or No Deal?